i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
