So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
handjob tips. give me some.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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