No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
