I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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