I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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