Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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