he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
