so that wasnt chicken after all
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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