wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
