Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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