Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
