Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
