she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
