Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
