It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
