I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
