talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
