She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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