remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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