If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize