Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
tell your sister to shave her snatch
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
