No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
