five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
