so let's talk penis.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
