Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
