haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
