And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
