I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
