All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
