There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
