I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize