and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
