super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize