and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Found the puke drawer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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