guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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