I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
