I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
