just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
