"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
