I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
