Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
