Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceaƱera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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