They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
