Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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