Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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