just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
