I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
