You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
