Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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