I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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