Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You don't make any sense
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