I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your penis caused this!
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