so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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