Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
