i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
