I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
