it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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