I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
