You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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