We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
