Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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