Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
