Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
