ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
