3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize