yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
