So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
