Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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