If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
