U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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