That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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