bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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