Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
