I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
