Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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