A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I deserve this hangover.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
