She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
