i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
