The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
