why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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