This is not my ceiling
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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