How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
