Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
