Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
