Your dad touched me again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize