Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
