I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize