I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
